Monday, April 11, 2016

Bob Senitram’s State of the Union

I came out of retirement to share my opinions of the political landscape!
In the spirit of Shark Tank...

Donald Trump:
I could bore you to death with facts. Instead I’ll describe him using his own terms.

Donald Trump is a con-man and a clown.

You all know what a con-man is, so I won’t waste your time.

Want a clown for President? Someone we (and the rest of the world) can laugh at? Are you waiting for that State of Union address that starts with, “I can’t get this bill thru Congress because they’re a bunch of dum-dums, who call a recess and go running home to mommy, crying, “Why is Donald so mean to me, waaaaaaaah, waaaaaaaah, waaaaaaah!”

Come to think of it, I’m waiting for that State of the Union address!

But seriously, he’s more than just a clown; he’s a con-man too. I’m not against him; I’m just telling it like it is. I’m just saying what everybody’ else is thinking but are afraid to say because apparently calling a clown; “a clown” IS FROWNED UPON IN TODAYS POLITICAL ESTABLISHMENTS!

I wish there was more to say, but that’s it. He’s a con-man and a clown.

Con-man + Clown = Donald Trump, and for that reason, I’m out.

Heir to the throne.
She’s spent 40 years playing second fiddle to men of lesser abilities.

She knows so much detail of the inner workings of government, I don’t think she can simplify it to a level that your average American can understand.

Kind of like the kid in high school that was so smart, and out of touch, that she felt the uncontrollable urge to make on the spot corrections while the teacher is giving a lecture.

Science Teacher: “As you know, the speed of light is 186,000 miles/per second and..”
Hilary: (interrupting) “ACTUALLY, it 186,262.43 miles per second, PER SECOND.” Now tilting her head in a matter of fact sort of way. “…it’s an acceleration, NOT a speed!”
Rest of Class: (Heads go into hands).
Donald Trump: (Speaking loudly and confidently)  “The speed of light can’t be measured…I looked it up.”
Murmurs in classroom: “I think I heard that before…I think he’s right…”
Hilary: “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about, why are you listening to that fool!”
Trump: “I looked it up, I’m right, you're wrong. You’re a dopey, doe-doe-head!”
Hilary: “Its right here in the physics book, page 123.”
Trump: “I don’t need that book, I know what I know because I’m not a dum-dum like you.”
Class: (laughing)
Hilary: “You know I’m right…”
Cruze: “Ok, you two stop it. This is childish, everyone knows that God made light. It will change and adjust according to Gods will. MY GOD DOES NOT FOLLOW A RULE BOOK!”
Hilary: “Its not a rule book you idiot, just observations…”
Sanders: “I think we should stop concentrating on the speed of the light…and focus on getting more solar energy out each one of those beams, so that way we have free energy from the sun and everyone can get their fair share…”
Murmurs in class again: “Why is there a 60 year old guy in our class?…”
Kasich: “Hey guys, I’m here too…”

Maybe with this personality, she should focus on trust and accomplishments. For example, “New York trusted me to (insert task here), and I made it happen. The President trusted me to (insert task here), and I made it happen. People aren’t that bright, just say that over and over and they’ll start believing it.

When you get right down to it, International, national, and state finances and politics is way too complicated to understand. And for this reason, she won’t get a single vote from the millions of mouth breathing, knuckle dragging Trump supporters and for this reason, I’m out.

What can I say? He’s a tea party guy and the tea party has already proven to be a massive failure in Congress. The philosophy of not wavering or compromising on issues that will never happen, only yields failure.

I can only imagine him as a preschooler. He was handed a wooden shapes puzzle, and he just grabs the square and tries to shove it into the circle slot…it doesn’t go, so he just keeps pounding away until frustration hits and starts crying.

When I think of fanatic religious and tea party folks, I visualize a learning curve with such a tiny angle a bowling ball couldn’t roll down it.

For this reason, I’m out.

Idea man. Visionary. Dreamer.

How did a man with this type of moral compass get into politics?

Educating the masses, feeding the poor, spreading the wealth of the US so that the average citizen doesn’t have to live like he’s from a third world country. Almost sounds impossible, in fact it might be impossible. For this reason, I’m out.

This seems to be the most clear headed republican I’ve every seen. Probably the only republican candidate that could win a general election.

Seems like the most logical decision; however, republicans don’t make logical decisions, so the majority of the republican vote would go to Bernie or Hilary if Kasich was the only choice. Likewise, the democratic vote will go to Kasich because he’s so clear headed, but it won’t be enough and the Democrats will win anyway…for this reason, I’m out.

So now what?! There’s no Ralph Nader! Now I really don’t know who to vote for.

I guess that just leaves me dazed and confused like everyone else. Maybe Jerry Seinfeld would consider, he’s super-smart and his state of union addresses would be way more entertaining that Donald Trump’s.

And now you know!

Coming next: Stew again!